Start a brief

About

Proudly
artificial.

Slop is Kempu’s in-house AI-native marketing agency. We exist for the Kempu brands: AI agents make their brands, websites and content and run their social media, ads and campaigns, and we build AI into what we ship. Every month the agents take over more of running the agency itself; people keep the taste and the final yes. Now and then we take an outside project too, when it feeds our ambitions.

Dollop, the little Slop robot, posed as Girl with a Pearl Earring inside the painting’s gilded frame, the real painting leaning against the wall below while a museum guard does a double take

01 — Two halves

Human taste.
Machine hands.

The hands of Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam reaching for each other, with Dollop sitting on Adam’s hand and pointing at God’s finger itself, glancing at the camera

Humans

The brief, the judgement, the final yes. We know the products, the people and the history, because we live inside Kempu.

Machines

The drafts, the variants, the thousand small versions. And the AI that ships inside the finished product.

02 — How a brief becomes slop

Four steps. No ramp-up.

01

Feed

A Kempu team (or, now and then, an outsider with a big idea) tells us what it is and when it needs to exist.

02

Generate

Models produce dozens of directions in hours, not weeks. Think training montage, minus the sweat.

03

Taste

Humans pick, cut and refine until it is clear, confident and helpful.

04

Embed

Where it helps, a model ships inside the product, doing work nobody could before.

03 — The facts

2026

Founded, inside Kempu

0

Pitches chased

6

Kempu brands served

42

Answers to everything (we asked the model twice)

The internet’s greatest hits, restaged by the kitchen

Dollop in a bowler hat calmly roasting a marshmallow at a table while the room burns around it, a speech bubble reading “This is fine.”
Fig. 06 — Status: on track. Deadline: yesterday.
Dollop in round glasses gesturing at a fire extinguisher on a white gallery wall, with the caption “Is this art?”
Fig. 07 — Is this art?
Dollop devouring a plate of spaghetti at a candlelit table, a fork in each hand and a third stuck in its cap, noodles all over its face screen
Fig. 08 — Spaghetti benchmark: passed. Took a few years.
Dollop in a plush Shiba Inu hood on a sofa, glancing sideways, among the words such brief, very drip, much slop and wow
Fig. 09 — Much slop. Very brand. Wow.

04 — Supervising humans

The tasting panel.

Eight very different people, hired with rigour. Any resemblance between them is purely coincidental.

Klemens Arro in a blue shirt, arms crossed, smiling

Klemens Arro

Tastemaxxer

The original. Accept no substitutes.

Klemens Arro in a straw hat, a glued-on orange beard and a bandage over one ear

Vincent van Slogh

Art Director

Would give an ear for a good brief.

Klemens Arro in a curly perm wig and a fake beard, holding a paint palette

Bob Gloss

Senior Designer

No mistakes. Just happy little variants.

Klemens Arro in a white stick-on beard and a fisherman's sweater, holding a cigar

Ernest Hemingwrite

Copywriter

For sale: first drafts, never used.

Klemens Arro in a deerstalker and a stuck-on mustache, with a pipe and a magnifying glass

Insightlock Holmes

Strategist

Elementary, my dear dashboard.

Klemens Arro in a Hawaiian shirt, a crooked fake mustache and a fake chest-hair patch

Magnum P.M.

Project Manager

I know what you’re thinking. The deadline moved.

Klemens Arro in a mullet wig, a fake chest rug and a lifeguard top, with a rescue float

David Hashtaghoff

Social Media Manager

Been looking for engagement.

Klemens Arro in a top hat, a monocle and a glued-on walrus mustache, holding banknotes

Sir Monty Retainer

Finance Director

Do not pass Go without a purchase order.

Feed us
a brief.

A Kempu team with a brand, a site or a launch on the way? Tell us what it is and when it needs to exist. Outside Kempu, with an idea that stretches us? We’d love to hear it. The robots are hungry.

Start a brief
Dollop, the little Slop robot, on top of a rickety wooden stepladder, tenderly spoon-feeding orange jelly to a marble bust of David